Attorney – Internal Containment Specialist (Secret Clearance)

Req ID: Project 2025 – Morale Suppression Taskforce Washington, D.C. | Full-Time | On-site Only Posted by: HideRight Consulting, in partnership with the United States Abandonment of International Aid

Overview

On behalf of the American people—specifically those unfazed by the collapse of democratic norms—we at HideRight Consulting are recruiting attorneys to support the historic dismantling of the United States Abandonment of International Aid (USAID).

Once tasked with reducing poverty and advancing global stability, USAID has now bravely pivoted toward a leaner, meaner mission: shutting itself down while punishing anyone who cared too much.

Under the moral leadership of Jeremy Lewin (formerly Peter Marocco, previously human), and with operational guidance from the Office for Institutional Silence, this role is ideal for legal professionals who enjoy the thrill of investigating whistleblowers, dismissing 200+ employee grievances, and suppressing testimony from career public servants who thought helping war-affected children wasn't treasonous.

If you’ve ever wanted to criminalize conscience or reclassify empathy as misconduct, this is your moment.

Scope of Work

You’ll join a handpicked legal team charged with:

• Responding to employee-filed grievances, many from staff laid off with 15 minutes’ notice, left without COBRA access, and cut off from communication—particularly in the aftermath of DOGE’s now-infamous Kinshasa evacuation, where staff fled political violence only to arrive in D.C. with no housing, no pay, and no functioning reimbursement systems.

• Investigating “unauthorized communications with the media”, a.k.a. telling the truth. Many of these communications involve inconvenient facts, like how our internal systems were dismantled faster than our aid programs.

• Suppressing testimony from former Civil and Foreign Service Officers who spoke up about program terminations in conflict zones or their own trauma from being dislocated and discarded.

• Handling field complaints from regions like Ukraine, Burma, and the DRC—though you will not be required to engage with terminated Foreign Service Nationals. Those were outsourced to… well, no one. That problem now belongs to host-country governments, most of which lack functioning judiciaries. (Silver lining: fewer emails.)

• Making sure no legal document implies moral failure on the part of senior leadership. Words like “cruelty,” “abandonment,” or “collapse” must be redacted or rebranded.

You will operate under the Deputy General Counsel for Ethical Elimination and Narrative Risk.

Responsibilities

1. Provide legal insulation for agency actions that resemble ethical arson.

2. Review grievances and identify “problematic tone,” “excessive grief,” or “faith in mission” as grounds for dismissal.

3. Help justify mass firings of public servants who refused to lie about program outcomes.

4. Draft memoranda that explain why losing one’s job, benefits, and repatriation assistance isn’t a labor violation, it’s an “institutional evolution.”

5. Analyze trauma statements for strategic gaps—particularly from Kinshasa evacuees who thought they’d be reimbursed for emergency hotel rooms.

6. Coordinate suppression of external audits, FOIA requests, and congressional inquiries.

7. Assist the Office for Institutional Silence in repackaging public outcry as internal noncompliance.

8. Support strategic ambiguity in communications with unions—don’t worry, executive orders have mostly neutralized their legal footing.

9. Reinterpret federal labor law for maximum wiggle room.

10. Other duties as assigned (usually involving metaphorical cleanup after literal destruction).

Required Skills

• Legal agility in collapsing institutions

• Fluency in administrative double-speak

• Comfort investigating colleagues who still believe in accountability

• Experience citing laws without applying them

• Skill in neutralizing narratives through procedural flood

• A stomach for the task of crushing those already crushed

Preferred (But Not Required) Experience

We recognize that traditional qualifications are overrated in the current climate. At HideRight Consulting, we reward flexibility, not history. Experience in the following areas will set candidates apart:

• Recent graduation from law school or undergraduate programs (or in some cases, just completion of an online certification in "government ethics"). Actual familiarity with international development is optional—and frankly, discouraged.

• No prior experience with USAID or humanitarian work. We find this keeps the mind unencumbered by legacy ethics, empathy, or knowledge of what the agency used to do.

• Willingness to accept senior-level legal responsibilities without relevant experience. Leadership is about message discipline, not credentials.

• Any prior work with DOGE (Department of Government Efficiency) or experience helping restructure, privatize, or undermine federal agencies.

• A demonstrated ability to thrive in politically volatile environments, preferably by aligning one’s personal values with whoever holds executive power at the moment.

• Choosing to work at USAID in 2025 by choice, not assignment—particularly after the agency has been brutally abolished. We welcome applicants with a strong scab mentality and a proven comfort working alongside mass firings.

• A lack of prior union membership, or at minimum, a deeply held belief that unions are “more of a suggestion.”

Qualifications

• Juris Doctor from a law school that didn’t disown you

• 4–8 years post-bar experience in federal employment law, political repression, or reputational containment

• Secret clearance and the willingness to keep secrets that would break most people

• Prior work in HR triage zones, post-coup legal cleanups, or morally conflicted org charts a plus

Location

1776 Retaliation Row, Unit #7.2RIF, Washington, DC 20005 – On-Site Only
(Remote work is not permitted due to risk of empathy or independent thought)

About HideRight Consulting

At HideRight Consulting, we understand what really matters in government contracting: results, not morals.

For over a decade, we’ve delivered elite legal, compliance, and narrative-control services to the federal government—regardless of who’s in power.

Under the previous administration, we proudly supported USAID’s commitments to human dignity, due process, and workforce protections. We helped expand parental leave, defended whistleblowers, and ensured that employees in the field were protected and heard.

Now, in a new era of “efficiency,” we are just as proud to dismantle those same protections, reinterpret those same policies, and help terminate those same employees—quietly and thoroughly.

Our mission isn’t justice. Our mission is execution.

We don’t ask why—we ask how fast. Whether that means defending truth or suffocating it, we bring the same speed, discretion, and silence.

We are 100% employee-owned. And by “employee,” we mean those who remain—after full vetting for message discipline, psychological flexibility, and constitutional amnesia.

We are also an Equal Opportunity Enabler. We do not discriminate based on race, gender, or creed—only based on residual conscience. If you still have one, we invite you to check it at the door.
And while we continue to maintain a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion policy (as required), we are currently reviewing whether those definitions still align with the mission and expectations of the current administration. In this new environment, diversity of thought is no longer a priority—and equity begins where silence starts.
We are currently 100% employee-owned. But we’re flexible. Should a future administration prefer hierarchical loyalty structures, centralized ideological vetting, or ownership by a single billionaire with a family foundation and a private island, we’re happy to restructure.

How to Apply

Send your résumé, sanitized writing samples, and an empty personal values statement to: RepressionTeam@HideRightGov.com
Include Req ID: Project 2025 – Morale Suppression Taskforce in the subject line.

Recruitment Note

Concerned about the ethics of this role?
So were thousands of career public servants.
They’re no longer with us.
You’ll be helping ensure their voices never are either.

---